tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55912292011-04-21T19:15:24.178-07:00komunikasi. just for the fuck of it.hanya ingin menceritakan rasa, kenapa, apa dan siapa.bukan semata buat diri sendiri karena hidup bukan sekedarnya.sekali berarti setelah itu mati.toh salah benar kata mereka tak ada, namun sakit dan senang itu tak ada yang sama.untuk sebuah komunikasi.Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comBlogger1131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1100623390931535832004-11-16T08:25:00.000-08:002004-11-16T08:43:10.930-08:00Mestinya kamu nggak tersesat dan hanya berteman bintang yang lekat
hingga kamu bisa pulang ke rumah...
Sayangnya saya tidak selalu punya lentera yang berkilau hangat di dalam
genggaman tangan saya, Sayang.
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1100172133743146872004-11-11T02:06:00.000-08:002004-11-11T03:22:13.743-08:00So you want me to be your Home?
yang tergelar selimut tebal lembut warna coklat muda
dengan segelas coklat panas siap digenggam oleh
jemarimu setiap malam?
yang sekalipun tak pernah terdengar ada nada suara
meninggi serta tudingan tajam bahkan saat kamu menjadi
seorang balita penakut atau lelaki plin plan?
yang tak pernah mencemburui apapun yang dilakukan
para perempuan itu untuk merebut Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1099540537452233052004-11-03T19:28:00.000-08:002004-11-03T19:55:37.453-08:00So you hate me for whatever reasons you have in mind.
and i tell myself, the loss is in you. if only you would come to
me and talk about it,we may find a better way rather than
being enemies. if only you would come to me in whatever
way you could possibly can, i may understand why you would
better having me out of your life as soon as possible. but you
wouldn't and you just make the situation Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1099280656121687602004-10-31T19:41:00.000-08:002004-10-31T19:44:16.120-08:00She has nothing to lose.
Kalaupun perempuan itu mesti meninggalkan kekasihnya,dia selalu bisa masih bersamanya walaupun bukan lagidalam bentuk hubungan kekasih.
Kalaupun perempuan itu mesti menghentikan semuakegiatannya sekarang, dia selalu bisa kembalimelakukannya lagi atau sekaligus berganti kegiatanyang belum pernah dia lakukan sebelumnya.
Kalaupun perempuan itu mesti pindah tempat kerja,diaTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1098859675269519632004-10-26T23:34:00.000-07:002004-10-26T23:47:55.270-07:00'saya mesti bertanya, karena buat saya,
hidup adalah tentang menemukan jawaban.'
seperti semalam saat saya tanyakan apa yang sebenarnya kamu inginkan
dari saya. apa yang sebenarnya yang kamu inginkan dari hubungan kita, juga apa
yang sebenernya saya rasakan beberapa hari terakhir ini tentang semua ini.
saya tahu kalau mencari jawaban tidak mudah. kadang cuman bikin lelah,
belum lagi resah Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1098811186326083252004-10-26T10:09:00.000-07:002004-10-26T10:19:46.326-07:00Hold on to yourself and no one else.
Perempuan itu memaksa dirinya untuk berjalan
mengambil bongkahan bara itu. kamu harus bisa
memegangnya, harus kuat dan redam panasnya.
katanya pada dirinya sendiri.
hidup terlalu singkat untuk dijalani dengan kesakitan,
pertanyaan pertanyaan tak terjawab serta dusta.
ambil dan redam. jangan lari, jangan menghindar.
ambil jawabannya saat ini, karena besok Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1098713015021782712004-10-25T06:34:00.000-07:002004-10-25T07:03:35.023-07:00if equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me-an sms
tapi kali ini tak ada kerelaan dalam suara perempuan itu.
tak ada ketulusan yang dulu digila gilai banyak lelaki itu.
anak manis ini tidak suka dilukai egonya, hatinya. dia marah.
toh Tuhan memang baik untuk sekali lagi mengingatkan
betapa mudahnya dia terlukai oleh kepercayaannya sendiri.
kepercayaan yang membabi buta akan Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1098270251259201372004-10-20T03:45:00.000-07:002004-10-20T04:04:11.260-07:00Our love was, comfortable
and so broke in in..
Tadi malam perempuan itu pulang
ke rumahnya. Rumah itu menyambutnya
dengan kata kata,
Welcome home!
Please don't be shy, feel like your own.
Dan perempuan itu hanya bisa menangis
sambil tertawa lepas hingga tertidur menjelang
dini hari.
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1097826521089965932004-10-15T01:26:00.000-07:002004-10-15T00:48:41.090-07:00perempuan yang punya terlalu banyak mau, suka lupa perlu.
(kata seorang teman perempuan dengan tepat)
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1097746311995894302004-10-14T02:21:00.000-07:002004-10-14T02:31:51.996-07:00Falling in love with a wrong person for all the right reasons-John Mayer
Perempuan itu suka sekali John Mayer, dan kata kata John diatas
membuatnya makin jatuh cinta padanya. Dan perempuan itu kembali
mengingat semua perjalanan cintanya selama ini, hingga hari ini.
Dia tersenyum.
Perempuan itu ingat dengan kesalahannya waktu mencintai seseorang
dengan nyawanya. Perempuan itu ingat dengan Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1097734195458031372004-10-13T22:57:00.000-07:002004-10-13T23:09:55.456-07:00"I Might Be Wrong"
I might be wrong
I might be wrong
I could have sworn
I saw a light coming on
I used to think
I used to think
There is no future left at all
I used to think
Open up, begin again
Let's go down the waterfall
Think about the good times
And never look back
Never look back
What would I do?
What would I do?
If I did not have you?
Open up, let me in
Let's go down the waterfall
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1097671177062989282004-10-13T05:23:00.000-07:002004-10-13T05:39:37.063-07:00Perempuan yang menggelinjang di malam hari.
Mungkin karena di malam hari kegelisahannya
membuncah,kemudian pecah satu satu seperti beling diinjak
kuda lumping. Mungkin karena perempuan itu memang
hidup dikelilingi bintang bintang walaupun wujudnya
lebih mirip seperti bulan.
Malam ini dia kembali menyusun kembali semua ingin
dan harapan yang bertumpukan seharian tadi. Dibungkus
sehelai rok Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1097045783679230932004-10-05T23:30:00.000-07:002004-10-05T23:56:23.680-07:00I'm still haven't found what I am looking for.
Saya cari di makanan yang belum pernah saya makan hari ini.
Saya cari di salon dengan potongan rambut baru yang lucu.
Saya cari di...
Mungkin mestinya saya nggak mencarinya jauh jauh.
Mungkin selama ini itu memang ada di dalam saya.
Hanya saja sudah lama saya nggak menemukannya lagi..
Nggak merasakan lagi arti pentingnya.
Dan di saat saat seperti Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1096987277022025242004-10-05T07:29:00.000-07:002004-10-05T07:41:17.023-07:00Membaca puisi di atas bukit berada di bawah langit berbintang.
Masih ingat janjiku di ulang tahunmu itu?
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1096966313885537912004-10-05T01:38:00.000-07:002004-10-05T01:51:53.886-07:00ANSWER IT OR DIE.
Go out with me?
Give me your number?
Have sex with me?
Let me kiss you?
Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
Let me take you out to dinner?
Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
Take a shower with me?
Be my GF/BF?
Have a fling with me?
Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
Buy me a drink if i didn’t have money?
Take me home for theTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1096545209499909012004-09-30T04:49:00.000-07:002004-09-30T04:53:29.500-07:00She had a history of killing herself, I had a habit of dying.
I think she gave me something to love for, I guess I helped her pass her time.
I had a vision of seeing things straight, she had the heart of a liar.
Well, I never saw her leaving me once, she never felt me beside her.
And it's cruel, but she's got a good hold on me.
-Hold On, Dashboard Confessional-
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1096449030057978532004-09-29T02:06:00.000-07:002004-09-29T02:10:30.056-07:00Dance, when you're broken up.
Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.
Dance in the middle of the fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance, when you're perfectly free.
--Mevlana Jalaludin Rumi-
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1096376055636160912004-09-28T05:49:00.000-07:002004-09-28T05:54:15.636-07:00malam ini.waktunya sendiri.bersenang senang.bercinta.sendiri.
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1096272993078857322004-09-27T01:09:00.000-07:002004-09-27T01:16:33.076-07:00..ada saat dimana kehilangan teman jauh lebih menyakitkan daripada kehilangan kekasih.
setidaknya aku ternyata lebih terbiasa dengan sesuatu bernama kehilangan kekasih,
tapi tidak teman. lucu. betapa teman ternyata mungkin lebih berarti buatku daripada
kekasih.mungkin itu pula kekasih kekasihku adalah teman teman baikku sebelumnya.
(kecuali yang sekarang)
...ada saat dimana memilih sama artinyaTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1095943404754837552004-09-23T05:35:00.000-07:002004-09-23T05:43:24.753-07:00Buat kamu yang tidak pernah bisa membaca bahasa hatiku,
Langit malam ini terlalu jauh di balik kaca tebal. Dentuman
di kepalaku yang tak kunjung reda. Hantaman kecil kecil
rasa sakit yang membuatku tahu aku hidup semakin tak
tahu diri dan menutup hampir seluruh sel otakku.
Andai saya bisa bersamamu malam ini...
Tapi kamu selalu bersamaku. Selalu. Bahkan saat aku
sedang menggoda manusia lainnyaTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1095751167021443402004-09-21T01:09:00.000-07:002004-09-21T00:19:27.020-07:00Have you ever been to a place when everything turned out to be wrong
after being right for sometime before?
That's where I am now, I guessed.I really thought that it would be a good
holiday that I'm going to have with some friends and a lover this weekend
when I realized that I shouldn't do this today. Weird, but like they say 'Shit
happens on the way to heaven'.Whataver.
Some beautiful momentsTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1095394366716469432004-09-16T21:11:00.000-07:002004-09-16T21:12:46.716-07:00andai saya bisa membaca matanya tadi pagi.laki laki yang selama setahun ini mengisi sesuatu yang begitu kosong di dalam diri saya. sesuatu yang bernama Kekuatan. walaupun dia datang saat saya baru saja menemukan kalau saya kuat, dia datang dengan bentuk kekuatan yang tak pernah saya bayangkan sebelumnya.
mungkin setiap orang memang memiliki bentuk kekuatan yang berbeda beda. kalau kekuatan saya Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1095237246319178282004-09-15T01:00:00.000-07:002004-09-15T01:34:06.320-07:00Tapi kan nanti sholatnya nggak sah.Sayang, beribadah terus tapi nggak diterima Allah.
(dan sayangnya dia bukan Tuhan.)
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1095156014790275462004-09-14T02:41:00.000-07:002004-09-14T03:00:14.790-07:00double sided pain.
mesti terbiasa kayaknya sebentar lagi dengan perasaan itu
kalau mendengar berita berita yang mampir ke telingaku
beberapa hari ini. biarlah. mungkin memang sudah waktunya.
terlalu bahagia dan baik baik saja dan inilah akhir dari semuanya
itu.
keep loving,keep fighting. Cinta bilang.
pulang tapi bukan lagi terasa rumah akhir akhir ini.
sebuah pertanyaan,
how do you get along Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1094820322081268442004-09-10T05:42:00.000-07:002004-09-10T05:45:22.080-07:00you are my number one. though there are of course
number two, three, and four. but you, yes, you!
you are my number one.
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1094461437323291932004-09-06T01:27:00.000-07:002004-09-08T02:15:23.483-07:00darimana aku mesti memulainya?
dua ekor anak kucing yang sedang menyusu pada ibunya di
bawah jendela ruang depan rumahku pasti bisa menangkap
resahku siang itu. diantara butiran keringat dan nafas berat
akibat asmaku, roti bakar yang masih panas di panggangannya
serta gelas gelas kopi yang mengepul...aku hanya ingin bisa
duduk sebentar untuk bisa menemukan arti dari kalimatmu,
'kesetiaan itu Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1094200512126247232004-09-03T01:07:00.000-07:002004-09-03T01:35:12.126-07:00Pulang lagi ke tempat ini tadi malam.Pulang ke kenyataan.
Pulang ke keadaan yang seksi menggigit. Membuat air mata
berlinang, senyum terkembang atau gairah liar jadi jalang.
Waktu yang tepat untuk pergi sebentar...dari pelukan erat,
tatapan lekat manis seperti coklat, siraman cinta yang deras
tak terbendung, serta Hati yang sarat harapan dan pertanyaan.
Melelahkan tapi membahagiakan. Membuat Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1094012454995030032004-08-31T21:06:00.000-07:002004-08-31T21:20:54.996-07:00Mungkin karena ini tentang Hati. Aku selalu jadi sangat berhati hati.
Bukan apa apa, ini Hati. Yang cuma satu dimiliki manusia, yang
nilainya bisa jadi sama dengan nyawa. Makanya aku jadi luar biasa
resah memikirkannya, ketakutan aku sudah menyakiti Hatinya, ngeri
kalau dia akan membenciku setelah ini. Toh dia hanya bilang, tidak
ada yang berubah. Ini biasa saja, semuanya sudah dia kira akan Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1093580722822236012004-08-26T20:56:00.000-07:002004-08-26T21:25:22.823-07:00Malam datang bersama tatapan lelah seusai hari. Bersama bisik
bisik cinta pengantar tidur. Bersama cerita cerita tak berkesudahan
tentang cuaca, senyum, kejahatan dan kerasnya hidup serta
harapan buat esok.Malam seolah bisa menelanjangi kita setelah
seharian mengenakan terlalu banyak topeng atau bersembunyi
dibalik banyak alasan yang dibuat atas nama apapun.Malam memang
tak hanya milik para Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1093415693242797032004-08-24T23:20:00.000-07:002004-08-24T23:34:53.243-07:00ternyata dia tidak sekuat yang mereka inginkan, tidak setegar yang
mereka harapkan. dan dia menemukanku, si penggelar permadani
di bahu dan hati untuk kekasihku. dia melihatku berlari dan melompat
atas nama keinginan, dengan bahar bakar impian. tapi bukan tentang
masa depan. dia menginginkanku, tapi pada waktu yang salah.
sangat salah, andai saja manusia bisa berkuasa atas waktu (toh kita
tak Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1092993789036402272004-08-20T01:59:00.000-07:002004-08-20T02:23:09.036-07:00Ngobrol itu bikin nyandu ternyata. Seperti cinta, mencintai dan dicintai.
Melihat mata yang berbinar, bibir yang tertawa dan tersenyum, serta
emosi yang naik turun hingga semua pembicaraan terhenti dan mungkin
tinggal menyisakan sebuah helaan nafas pada akhirnya. Mungkin itu
sebabnya aku mudah jatuh cinta pada orang yang bisa mengobrol dengan
aku, yang mendengarkan dan memberi serta meninggalkan Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1092826262298339832004-08-18T03:27:00.000-07:002004-08-18T03:51:02.303-07:00Ternyata dia bingung apakah mesti menginginkanku sekarang atau nanti.
Mungkin sebingung aku yang tak tahu mesti pulang kemana karena dimanapun
akhir akhir ini aku lebih sering dimanja bahagia.Tapi aku tahu aku tak akan
membiarkannya merusak kebahagiaanku, hidupku. Tak ada yang boleh
merusaknya atas nama apapun karena aku layak memiliki hidup seperti yang
aku inginkan. Toh aku akan membiarkan Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1091540348890804412004-08-03T06:25:00.000-07:002004-08-03T06:39:08.890-07:00Sekali lagi kejujuran yang membuat kelegaan datang saat
ketakutan dan kekhawatiran menyerbu bersamaan.
Tak ada yang bilang mesti sekarang kalau memang bukan
waktunya, juga tak harus buru buru kalau memang ini
semua butuh waktu.
Kebahagiaan sekarang adanya setiap hari, tinggal kita
sendiri yang memutuskan apakah mau memetiknya
atau membiarkannya sebelum kita coba petik lagi suatu
hari nanti.
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1091125529535147892004-07-29T11:15:00.000-07:002004-07-29T11:25:29.536-07:00Pernah tiba tiba ingin mengajak orang menikah?
Walau kamu nggak pernah percaya pernikahan
itu perlu dari kacamata siapapun kecuali Tuhan.
Atau setelah kamu menolak beberapa tawaran
menikah dari orang lain sebelumnya. Tapi tiba tiba
saja kamu ingin mengajak seseorang menikah saat
itu juga saat kamu sedang mengobrol dengannya...
Pernah?
Mungkin itu sebuah ajakan yang tidak serius,
atau ada bagianTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1091020388555863352004-07-28T06:10:00.000-07:002004-07-28T06:13:08.556-07:00Mestinya menulis lagi. Terlalu banyak yang ingin diceritakan.
Terlalu banyak tawa dan kesedihan yang mesti dibagi.
Masih disini dengan sebuah kepercayaan akan Cinta yang
berlebihan (kata orang orang) dan kepercayaan yang naik
turun akan Tuhan (kata diri sendiri).
Besok ingin sekali bisa mulai menulis lagi.
Selamat malam, selamat tidur.
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1080526365977886442004-03-28T18:12:00.000-08:002004-03-28T18:46:01.403-08:00Tato.
Akhirnya aku menemukan sebuah gambar+tulisan yang aku sukai untuk tatoku.
Walaupun belum pasti mau di bagian mana dari tubuhku yang ingin aku tato,
tapi aku setidaknya yakin sudah menyelesaikan salah satu bagian yang paling penting dari membuat tato: mencari gambar.
Ada yang menarik setiap kali aku pernah mengatakan pada salah satu mantan kekasihku kalau aku akan menuliskan namanya di Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1078293127072303982004-03-02T21:52:00.000-08:002004-03-26T01:41:03.123-08:00Ingin.
itulah ganti dari dari kata 'mimpi' di dalam kamus hidupku sekarang. dan aku hidup
dari rangkaian panjang inginku yang tak kunjung memendek setiap saat.ingin ingin
itu membuatku semakin berani untuk mencoba dan melangkah, karena aku ingin tahu apakah bisa aku mendapatkan inginku itu.aku tak hidup untuk besok, tapi hari ini.inginku setiap hari adalah sebuah perintah yang setiap saat ada di Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1075177506789642202004-01-26T20:25:00.000-08:002004-01-28T20:38:12.733-08:00Profesi.
Diinspirasi oleh sebuah blog, aku baru sadar betapa beberapa profesi di sekitar kita jarang sekali dilihat sebagai sesuatu yang dilakukan karena memang mereka yang melakukannya menyukainya, namun hanya semata sebagai sumber penghidupan.
contohnya dokter. saat kita ke dokter dan membayarnya, pernahkah terpikir oleh kita kalau mungkin saja dokter tersebut bukan hanya tentang uang yang Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1073967126009293512004-01-12T20:12:00.000-08:002004-01-23T01:28:25.576-08:00Baik.
Dia memang baik.luar biasa baik.tidak hanya untukku, namun juga untuk banyak orang lainnya. dia memang baik.tapi ini bukan tentang baik atau tidak baik.kejahatan kan bisa juga dilakukan oleh orang baik. namun padanya masalahnya bukan tentang dia yang tidak cukup baik bagiku misalnya.tapi dia terlalu baik untukku.terlalu baik.
pasti terdengar mengada ada.tapi aku percaya itu Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1073894581213693122004-01-12T00:03:00.000-08:002004-01-12T00:16:06.623-08:00Keren.
Barusan dengan penuh kemenangan mengakui betapa seorang teman laki lakiku
memang keren habis habisan di depan teman lelaki lainnya (yang tampaknya sangat tidak menyetujui pendapatku itu).
bukan karena dia punya band.bukan karena bandnya ngetop.bukan karena dia bertato banyak.bukan karena dia selalu dikelilingi perempuan cantik.bukan karena dia pintar sekali.bukan karena dia bekerja di Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1073641908668707712004-01-09T01:51:00.000-08:002004-01-09T01:53:03.060-08:00Pertanyaan-pertanyaan 'besar' itu.
Tiga penyebab kebobrokan di negara ini.korupsi,pendidikan dan agama.
mengagumkan bagaimana korupsi udah seperti jadi agama baru. santai aja,
toh semua orang melakukannya. dosa? itukan urusan nanti. sementara sekolah, buku dan guru sudah lama menjadi komoditi untuk mencari uang. mencerdaskan kehidupan bangsa? itu urusan pemerintah, bukan kita. apalagi Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1073534738248237542004-01-07T20:05:00.000-08:002004-01-07T20:06:52.076-08:00Nggak ada yang baru di tahun baru.
semuanya masih sama.membawa beberapa luka lama, mencoba menggambar beberapa kebahagiaan baru.merangkai mimpi mimpi besar kecil yang entah akan jadi kenyataan atau tidak.hidup selalu berjalan walaupun manusia ingin mati sekalipun.waktu seolah lebih kuat dari Tuhan, seperti Cinta. usia juga cuma sejumput angka.hidup panjang pendek tidak berarti apa apa bila Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1071633272443058472003-12-16T19:54:00.000-08:002003-12-16T19:55:23.826-08:00there are more of them outhere.
never thought that i am surrounded with people with almost similar scars as mine.
on their mind, on their heart, on their soul, on their being.never thought that
we could share so much anger and pain that deep even finding the best lines
to describe them. we're no longer in tears talking about those moments of
betrayal. we're no longer trying to find a way how to Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1071560604008746912003-12-15T23:43:00.000-08:002003-12-15T23:44:14.700-08:00Saddam Captured
Me:I am glad Saddam was captured.
Flying Monkey Right-winger:So am I! It proves Bush was right to invade Iraq!
Me:Well, it doesn't change the fact he lied to get us into a war. It doesn't change the fact that thousands of innocent Iraqis have died, and will continue to die thanks to unexploded cluster bombs and the siege mentality of our troops, who are likely to shoot first Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1071221231217096112003-12-12T01:27:00.000-08:002003-12-12T01:27:58.246-08:00a trash gig tomorrow. a jingle recording tonight. a bunch of friends from bandung
arrival today.a catalogue to be finished today.a shitty job chasing after me since this morning.a lovely lovely boyfriend by my side.a house to be clean and paint since three months ago. a library and distro to be finished as soon as possible. a gorgeous two sisters.a wonderful parents. always some zines and books Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1070424895507165092003-12-02T20:14:00.000-08:002003-12-03T02:20:33.450-08:00is an organization of anarchists an oxymoron?
I smile so big reading that line from a guy's blog today. Just
when he reminds me of this line,
Thank God, I'm an atheist!
And funny thing is, some people will take those lines seriously
while others are just having fun with them. While I used to do both,
because I want have more fun (of course!)Hehehe!
Have you ever been in love with an atheist byTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1070337136228676902003-12-01T19:52:00.000-08:002003-12-03T02:11:15.466-08:00i never actually know my real father.
our relationship based on a distance and my mother's pain towards him.
so no matter how hard I try to love him as my father as simple as anyone
I know about loving their father, I always end up not knowing him at all.
at least I know where's his latest office or what kind of job that he has,
but that's all. I know he has a new family, but I don't think we'll Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1070267659850758612003-12-01T00:34:00.000-08:002003-12-01T00:35:35.043-08:00so many things to tell, so lazy to start writing.
(i'm going to have my own iBook soon!Alhamdulillah:)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1067919697614549752003-11-03T20:21:00.000-08:002003-11-04T03:30:45.423-08:00Yes, Love is exist. And you could get out of my life if you don't like my Love.
Those pictures, visuals of betrayals. They're still pay me a visit lately though I don't feel a shit about them anymore. Maybe that would be the last format of those in me now. Pictures without pain.Time has transform them into something in my past that I might have to take them along till I die. So be it:)
It's Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-106751531468305522003-10-30T04:01:00.000-08:002003-10-30T04:35:33.746-08:00If my face could lie, at least not my tears.
My body never feel strong lately since sickness come and go like 'ingus'!
Kesal.Last night I must be looked so damn tired and annoyed of getting
irritating sickness till my lover only could stare and offered to have a
late dinner. It's always been interesting and exciting to see how different
he is than the-guy-i-thought-he-was before when we first Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1067406448559656432003-10-28T21:47:00.000-08:002003-10-28T21:47:27.416-08:00When was the last time you see someone straight into their eyes?
It takes almost a year and two lovers for that girl to realize that she never been actually happy being with soulmate before.those six months in tears, another six months in long distance, and more six months in denial. what a relationship!
When she sees her lover now, she realized that she's been doing everything that she's done Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066983755742858802003-10-24T01:22:00.000-07:002003-10-28T19:14:24.020-08:00Chasing after anger.
I always feel a bit confused surrounded by drunk people,
no matter how close I am with them and relax our situation is.
I just don't know how to react towards their words,body language
and feelings. I just don't. And since I never been in their position,
and maybe never will either...I usually stay quiet or give some
proper reactions but not too lose. Even if some of askingTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066749494783495872003-10-21T08:18:00.000-07:002003-10-21T08:18:14.706-07:00If I die tomorrow morning, I just want you to know that you make me die happy.
Thank you:)
(a late night sms to a lover)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066719501459291392003-10-20T23:58:00.000-07:002003-10-20T23:58:20.830-07:00Kosong,sendu,tapi lega.sakit hati,tapi bahagia.
i've done nothing's wrong to others.that's the
part making me happy!
(an after midnight sms from a buddy)
My mommy rocks!
She paid some visits to several houses for orphanages,
street kids,disabled people, and other kinds of that kind
near her house last weekend. She wrote a pretty interesting
report on her visit to look for supports for her Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066629189393777082003-10-19T22:53:00.000-07:002003-10-19T22:53:08.820-07:00Maybe..
Maybe because he never there when all those chaotic pain happened to her life that
made him could create a beautiful picture of happiness for her lately. Maybe he just happened to do most of his things in life with his brain rather than his heart that made him won't pushed thing too far for his lover now. Maybe because he never quiet understand the concept of a Soulmate or even Marriage Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066491707528980192003-10-18T08:41:00.000-07:002003-10-18T08:41:47.266-07:00Atas nama apapun itu, lelaki ini tampaknya tak tertarik untuk menyakiti kekasihnya.
Kesenangan?
Kepuasan?
Kebutuhan?
Ego?
Kebiasaan?
Tidak perlu.
Dan kekasihnya hanya mampu mendekapnya sedikit terlalu erat malam itu...Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066483556619779702003-10-18T06:25:00.000-07:002003-10-18T07:02:55.703-07:00How could I not love you?
Kamu datang saat kembaranmu mengguratkan benci yang setengah mati ingin kamu sembuhkan lukanya hingga amis darah dan lebam tusukannya sama sekali tak terdeteksi oleh radar hati siapapun.
Kamu datang saat kembaranmu menghancurkan kehidupanku dan aku baru mulai akan menamai episode hidupku yang baru dengan judul, Redefining Hate.
Kamu datang saat kembaranmu meluluh Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066371046990603632003-10-16T23:10:00.000-07:002003-10-16T23:10:46.993-07:00Meredam gerah, bukan amarah.
Suddenly got an sms from one of my favorite writer.
He seemed pretty humble and quiet, reading from his words and the way he expresses his feelings.A soft enthusiasm over my media that made us promise to meet sometime soon to explore them. Awesome!
Another sudden meeting with an ex-bestfriend in high school just left me in another exhaustion of mind since I was Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066229520955838342003-10-15T07:52:00.000-07:002003-10-15T07:52:00.383-07:00Nama itu.
Datang lagi malam ini lewat sebuah percakapan di dunia maya dengan seorang perempuan hangat hebat belia yang hidup dengan kebencian. dia bilang sebaiknya jangan suka memendam semuanya sendirian.sering sering bercerita dan berbagi.percayalah, dia peduli.dia masih sangat peduli dengan semua yang kamu lakukan terlebih lagi kekasih kamu sekarang.dia memang seperti itu. saya tahu itu.
(Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066211691207298032003-10-15T02:54:00.000-07:002003-10-15T02:54:51.366-07:00Ini untuk kamu.
lelaki yang tak ada cela terasa
diantara jiwanya.tak ada prasangka
terukir di hatinya.tak ada salah tertatah
di telapak tangannya.tak ada yang mestinya
disakiti.tak malam itu.tak hari ini.
mungkin itulah karenanya matanya tak
lagi bisa ku tatap dengan berani.senyumnya
tak lagi mau ku beri senyuman jawaban.uluran
cintanya tak lagi ku biarkan lebih panjang dari
yang sebenarnya.akuTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066203904079588422003-10-15T00:45:00.000-07:002003-10-15T00:45:03.593-07:00Dyke: Do you feel arouse seeing woman naked?
Gal : Nope!
Dyke: Do you feel arouse seeing man naked?
Gal : Not really.
Dyke: Do you feel arouse seeing your boyfriend naked?
Gal : Definitely:D
(an imaginary conversation on the afternoon)
But is it really that simple to justify someone's sexual orientation? I don't think so. Really. Since I have been more and more involved on this wonderful Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1066114792303565502003-10-13T23:59:00.000-07:002003-10-14T00:06:00.200-07:00Annoyingly happy weekend!
The gay art discussion on Saturday went really, really nice.
It's so much better than the previous media indie workshop that I had last month. Though it's not packed but everyone seemed to be able to share their feelings and thoughts on the topic with anyway they want and we all just listened and tell our opinions towards it.Just wonderful.
Afterwards, I went home and Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1065521315972250922003-10-07T03:08:00.000-07:002003-10-07T03:31:04.916-07:00Gini deh ya!
Gue nggak merasa konser yang loe bikin itu tentang kepedulian sama perempuan, tapi itu cuma sebuah konser biasa yang kebetulan aja band bandnya kebanyakan isinya perempuan. itu aja.( and yes, girls DO sell! I still believe that after sex;)
Jadi saat loe bilang kalo loe pengen ngasi tau sama cewek cewek bawah tanah tentang apa yang MESTI mereka lawan, atau tentang bagaimana Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1065428783366258032003-10-06T01:26:00.000-07:002003-10-07T04:22:55.736-07:00Exhaustedly in love..
with my new house.with my lover.with my friends.
with my parents.with my sisters.with my enemies.
with my life and myself of course:)
i never thought i could get this much of a support
from my parents and my lover for this new house.
it's really cute hearing my mom asked something like,
'do you missed me?'
when I went home last friday for giving my body
enough good air Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1065079557801172582003-10-02T00:25:00.000-07:002003-10-02T00:25:57.690-07:00God exists inside a great film, a good book and you're lovers' eyes-V
Maybe God sent him into my life with one task.To teach me not there IS such a thing called Hate and there is no way I could live with this life without learning to accept it. In other words, to accept him in my life till the day I die.
Still trying so hard to be able to pray again like before since this whole new house and Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1064890329420858652003-09-29T19:52:00.000-07:002003-09-29T19:52:08.803-07:00Aku perempuan dan bukan untuk dipilih..aku memilih:)
A girlfriend of mine just having her first baby. Considering her young age and her way of life, I definetely damn proud of the way she takes a full responsibility of her choices in life. Congrats, Diet!
And finally being moving out of the house after so many years I really enjoy every second of being free to decide whether I should've gone Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1064678679117605992003-09-27T09:04:00.000-07:002003-09-27T09:04:39.206-07:00Almost midnight, Saturday night.
Dia menatap perempuan itu lama sekali. Ada senyum
yang bukan tersungging di bibirnya, namun di hatinya.
Ada suara yang keluar berbisik yang bukan dari mulutnya, namun hatinya. Ada....'tidak, aku tak ingin merubah apapun. Aku hanya sedang menikmati pertemuan kita....'
Dan perempuan itu hanya tertunduk sambil berkata dalam hatinya,
'Kalau boleh, sekali ini saya Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1064400048032415532003-09-24T03:40:00.000-07:002003-09-24T03:40:47.600-07:00You are so BEAUTIFUL!
You're curly long black hair that falls on your shoulder.
You're soothing black pearly eyes.
You're quiet smile.
You're funny comments on things.
You're smart comments on things that you disagree with.
You're thin lips that made you sounds like an old man.
You're soft spoken way of talking except when you are in front of a forum.
You're cool way of putting your hair in the Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1064391747220329692003-09-24T01:22:00.000-07:002003-09-24T01:22:27.050-07:00There should be one hell of an exciting workshop,
There should be one hell of an exciting discussion,
and there should be one hell of a romantic weekend also...
But they all replaced by those new acquitances, exhaustion,pissed, sickness, hard rains,cold hands and feet under the blanket...warm fuzzy moments of human's chemistry, plus heartache.
See?
Never let yourself expecting anything if Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063813731417599722003-09-17T08:48:00.000-07:002003-09-17T09:25:07.713-07:00Untuk Benci,
Saya masih percaya tak mungkin saya bisa mencintai
dengan cara yang persis sama untuk dua orang yang berbeda, bahkan setiap detak irama nafas saya saat bersama kamu dulu dan dia sekarang pasti memainkan musik yang berbeda.
Saya masih percaya tak mungkin saya mendapatkan semua yang sudah kamu hilangkan dulu dari saya walaupun cuma sebuah tanya apa kabar atau ucapan selamat tidur di Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063809194709288792003-09-17T07:33:00.000-07:002003-09-17T07:33:14.393-07:00It's after 9 PM and I think I'm in love, deeply.Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063778827357826462003-09-16T23:07:00.000-07:002003-09-16T23:07:07.410-07:00Stomache and Headache.
It's damn amazing that I could still walk,
talk, finished my work and also hang out
with Booby Boy till almost midnight yesterday.
We went to the movie, ate pizza and had her
pierce her left ear for the first time! Woohoo!
I told you that I'm such a bad influence! Hehehe!
But the stomache remains though it's not
as painful as yesterday, and with job to be
finished TODAY Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063640106820619522003-09-15T08:35:00.000-07:002003-09-15T08:35:06.803-07:00Cowok: Kurangin dong minum
kopinya,
Lambung kamu kan nggak kuat kalo banyak
Minum kopi...
Cewek: Tapi kamu nanti pacaran
ama orang lain?
Lalu buat apa saya udah ngurangin minum kopi
kalau kamu tetep pacaran sama cewek lain?
(I bet you smiling so big reading this nonsense conversation, right? Hehehe!)
Finally I Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063348842234367442003-09-11T23:40:00.000-07:002003-09-11T23:40:42.156-07:00Subuh's prayer.
God, I haven't done that for ...
but this morning a sudden urge of
thirst in the middle of my sleep woke
me up exactly when Subuh's adzan
roar from the mosque. Nice!
So I got a bottle of ice water and
a glass, wudhu and pray before
going back to bed again. And I just
realize those time of hour were so
damn soothing! Thank you, God:)
I'm a rejection junky,
I learn my lesson from Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063263607421983362003-09-11T00:00:00.000-07:002003-09-11T00:00:07.463-07:00Exhaustion of body and mind.
It's been so hectic in my office lately that
I found myself couldn't barely talk in a decent
mood and mind with other people except
those who has been really, really close and
knowing me almost everyday now!
I almost not even bother to call Damai Bulan
back and I found it is much better to talk to him
via sms! Hehehee! God, that guy is so bloody
heavy! Heheheeh!
ButTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063114638680666162003-09-09T06:37:00.000-07:002003-09-09T06:37:18.713-07:00Stop your whine
Feelin' swell
And I'm doin' fine
Yeah fuck your suicide
It's all bullshit 'cause I tried
And it really don't impress me all that much
Up yours
What you find
Sit right down
I got time
And you say here comes the end
And you haven't got a friend
And I'm standing here just screaming at the wall
Up yours
Stop your whine
Whatta ya got
I got mine
And you shake your stupid head
And you Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1063095729361809182003-09-09T01:22:00.000-07:002003-09-09T01:22:09.390-07:00Short hair VS Long hair.
Since I cut my hair really short last March,
I start to realize that NOT MANY guys that
I love is also love to see me in short hair.
Even some new guyfriends that I have lately
though they never see in long hair before,
keep saying something like,'I wonder what
would you look like in long hair....' in the
middle of our chat.
What's with boys and long hair sih?!
It's Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1062833543675774012003-09-06T00:32:00.000-07:002003-09-06T00:32:23.726-07:00My way of loving.
There has been a tremendous change in it
since in the beginning of this year, yet I still
seemed to believe in certain things about it
will never change no matter what happened.
Just because I said yes, that doesn't mean
there is no boundaries.
Just because I said no, that doesn't mean
it's a total restriction.
For I believe that there is no human could
own other human sinceTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1062653407418997002003-09-03T22:30:00.000-07:002003-09-03T22:56:29.040-07:00If I die tomorow, would you be sad?
and he shouldn't answered that question..
He's start to exhaust me, really. Not that I don't understand
his feelings and his position in my life but he should stop
acting like he is today. That act won't change anything
between us. I really wish I shouldn't have to tell him all
these...and if he's leaving me at the end, I think I'll be fine
since I have no Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1062564008717838762003-09-02T21:40:00.000-07:002003-09-03T00:09:11.460-07:00P: Jikaku diberi istana diatas awan oleh Tuhan,
maukah kau tinggal bersamaku?
J: Namun hari ini aku punya sebuah sudut hangat
lembut dan rumah mungil di keramaian
sebuah jalan...
(a morning sms conversation)
Two black eyes, that's what I got from my
Cirebon trip last weekend with my band and
my boyf. Definitely exhausting and not as fun
as Iwe expected but I'm still glad that I went
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1062402457950929302003-09-01T00:47:00.000-07:002003-09-02T23:55:05.470-07:00Dear you,
Love and Hate collide is definitely a perfect line
to describe you, before and today. I really wish
I could just come and asking why are you being
so mad lately...but I guessed those moments
were over now. Since I could barely trust you
anymore, and that's including when you said that
you don't believe in faith anymore:)
(Confrontation with Vain, Volume II)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1062064022727610102003-08-28T02:47:00.000-07:002003-08-28T02:47:02.626-07:00Tomorrow is Rajab month! (and I miss my Damai Bulan...:)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1061996754366527342003-08-27T08:05:00.000-07:002003-08-27T22:26:23.833-07:00Dearest God,
You won't let me enjoy all this
feelings for just even one second,
before you change them again
with others..will you?
You won't let me have one second
of a cold and quiet moment by myself
for the last couple of weeks, will you?
You won't let me get closer again
with my parents since I'm going to
leave their house soon, will you?
But still, you are still letting me
have all thisTotsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1061872000734540192003-08-25T21:26:00.000-07:002003-08-25T21:46:38.126-07:00Lagi di pasar Batu nganter nyokap beli apel.
Temperatur atmosfernya keren!
(a morning sms from a lover)
I never thought I could feel comfortable being
a story-teller for kids until last Sunday. I had
a Food Not Bombs activity with some beautiful
creatures around a lake at Jagakarsa for a whole
day. We have a free festival where we held a
screen printing workshop, drawing and story-telling
for Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1061532418214205642003-08-21T23:06:00.000-07:002003-08-25T21:23:18.880-07:00I hate Life.
That's what he put on his YM status today.
And god, how I used to love him before.
It's really interesting knowing such a statement
come out from such a perfect guy like him.
I could say this because I bet 8 out of 10
girls will say it, plus their parents:D
But then I always belief that what's perfect
for majority is definetely not perfect to me!
Hehehe! I mean, from the moment I Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1061369447818294512003-08-20T01:50:00.000-07:002003-08-20T01:50:47.723-07:00Tooth-brushing addict.
I think I could call myself that way,
instead of coffee-cream junky since
I feel such a relief everytime I finish
brushing my teeth after eating anything
after several hours.Hehehe!
Especially when I'm travelling, I will
put my tooth brush and tooth-paste
on the outside or the most reachable
pocket so that I could quickly go brush
my teeth anytime I feel like it. And yes,
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1061283507595043942003-08-19T01:58:00.000-07:002003-08-19T01:58:27.486-07:00Sudah lama telapak ini tak keriput terguyur air mata,
seperti seringnya kugunakan untuk meredam tawa
yang terlalu membahana..berusaha menutupi luka luka
lama...(mungkin dia sudah lupa kapan kuajak dia berdoa..)
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1061191916360105812003-08-18T00:31:00.000-07:002003-08-18T00:31:56.336-07:00Peace.
Have you ever try to find peace at this hour?Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060843450452014482003-08-13T23:44:00.000-07:002003-08-13T23:48:48.923-07:00Naive.
People used to call me for being too naive, because
I always believe that 'semua orang itu baik'.
So that I trust them as simple as smiling back at
them when they smile at me!
And I still do believe that 'semua orang itu baik',
though I may not be as straight as before since
all those 'so-much-of-what-so-called-trust-and-friendship'
chaotic party happened in my life earlier. Hehehe!
Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060775645010425002003-08-13T04:54:00.000-07:002003-08-13T05:09:29.626-07:00Kalau saya bicara dalam bahasa Inggris,
itu artinya...
saya gugup, atau saya cemas, atau saya
kesal, atau saya bingung, atau saya buru-buru,
atau saya hanya tidak ingin orang lain mengerti
apa yang sedang saya bicarakan dengan orang
lain.
tapi saya juga bicara dalam bahasa inggris,
bila saya malu. saya merasa bahasa indonesia
kosa katanya terlalu..telanjang. terlalu apa adanya.
tak seperti Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060773508458195112003-08-13T04:18:00.000-07:002003-08-13T04:41:26.893-07:00Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060665948007437262003-08-11T22:25:00.000-07:002003-08-11T22:25:48.043-07:00Cold hands and heart beats.
They all still there...
but the difference only,
the causes.
Before it's Love,
Now it's Hate.
(Confrontation with vain Volume 1)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060652833953067742003-08-11T18:47:00.000-07:002003-08-11T18:47:13.950-07:00- Toothpaste
- Mouthwash
- Liquid soap
- Shampoo
- Talcum powder
- Body Lotion
- Deodorant
- Perfume
- Face Powder
- Lipstick
- Lip Balm
- Hair Gel
It takes 12 kinds of product to live my life every day!
(Well, maybe less on weekends)
SHIT, NO WONDER I SMELL SO DAMN GOOD;)
-a confession of a consumtive bitch-Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060586219129331282003-08-11T00:16:00.000-07:002003-08-11T00:16:59.196-07:00Gal : Can I stay for awhile?
Guy: Stay forever.
(What a lovely rock'n roll weekend!)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060340898199889822003-08-08T04:08:00.000-07:002003-08-11T18:32:29.020-07:00: Fuck me, I'm your fans!
: I don't believe you, and I don't fuck my friends.Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060226303589624812003-08-06T20:18:00.000-07:002003-08-07T02:18:37.586-07:00Dressed in black from head to foot, hair multi hued,
rings lining her ears and nose,tattoos circling her wrist
and gracing her shoulder, she still thinks of herself as
shy and quiet, the weird girl who sat at the back of
the class in high school, in a town where 'there was
nothing goin' down at all." But as the Velvet Underground
song goes,"you know, her life was saved by rock'n roll."
It was Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060150646406898422003-08-05T23:17:00.000-07:002003-08-05T23:17:26.436-07:00Psychological Nightmare
What sort of Nightmare are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmm...actually, I believe that I could be much more
scarier than this:)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060145808687539492003-08-05T21:56:00.000-07:002003-08-05T21:56:48.553-07:00
What Anime Stereotype Are You?
SHIT! I'M BLUSHED!;)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060145294984350842003-08-05T21:48:00.000-07:002003-08-05T21:50:46.170-07:00
Who's Your Anime Boyfriend?
Ugh! This one is so damn TRUE!
But still, I want some childish touch here
and there..especially in certain settings
of our meetings;)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5591229.post-1060145046575329182003-08-05T21:44:00.000-07:002003-08-05T21:44:06.500-07:00
What Anime Art Style Are You?
Well, maybe because I'm just so girly
sometimes and mostly have lots of accessories
with the way I dressed. But I do love one tone
colour of things too. Mostly black, green or red
is what I like lately. I tend to choose everything
in the most colourful possible. Dunno why though.
Ou, my favorite colours are orange, red, yellow,
brown and pink.
Go figure!;)Totsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12087827638037346335noreply@blogger.com